Getting Kinky

041.jpg, originally uploaded by Alexis Parkin.

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Where is the GPS When You Need One – Finding the “G-Spot”

Sugar lips., originally uploaded by Pσrcelαΐηgΐrl°.

Gentlemen, you know that you are not going to stop and ask for directions and Ladies, you tend not to be so vocal on this particular subject (based on my limited experience)… and that subject is the exploring, finding, and stimulating the “G-Spot,” named after the German gynaecologist Ernst Gräfenberg who first hypothesized its existence in 1944. I don’t think that either sex is to blame for lack of knowledge, but I think that it is time to shed some light on the subject (figuratively speaking).

In speaking with some of my female readers, they have mentioned to me that they would like for their lovers to expand their r’epertoire, but were too shy to tell their lovers or didn’t know how. That is where we come in…

Prostate and Ejaculation, for Women?
From Divine Carline

“Part of the confusion regarding the G-spot may also have to do with the unclear characterization of female “ejaculation” and the Skene’s glands. The Skene’s glands are paraurethral glands thought to be homologous to the male prostate, and are sometimes referred to as the female prostate.

Some researchers claim that the Skene’s glands and the G-spot work in conjunction—or perhaps are one in the same. According to the Kinsey Institute, during sexual arousal, the vagina and the Skene’s glands swell so that you can feel them in the interior of the vagina—around the same area that the G spot is supposed to be. For some women, pressure here is pleasurable; for others it is not.

However, it is estimated that only about 10 percent of women experience ejaculation, so it is unclear how the glands function—or whether they exist in significant size—in all women. Most think they are a remnant of the embryonic stage, when we had the ability to be either sex. Males went on to have a penis and a prostate, while females developed a clitoris and in some, the Skene’s gland, or female prostate.

Just for Fun
Whether you want to refer to the anterior wall of the vagina as the G-spot, the clitoral urethrovaginal complex, or the female prostate, it is clear that some women derive pleasure from stimulating this area and some don’t. Unfortunately, anatomical differences are often interpreted, by the pharmaceutical industry and others looking to make a buck, as dysfunctions. Already there are G-spot “parties,” where women inject collagen into their vagina supposedly to make this region larger and enhance their sexual function. Drug companies are eager to find a female equivalent of blockbuster drugs like Viagra, and part of marketing a drug means creating the apparent need for it.

While exploring this area might be fun, there’s no need to get hung up on the idea that it isn’t producing explosive orgasms. In fact, studies indicate that 70 to 75 percent of women don’t orgasm through vaginal intercourse. Even those that contend every woman has a G-spot, like Beverly Whipple, aren’t trying to point to it as the crème de la crème of orgasm; rather, it seems they are trying to explain the experiences and physiology of women who do ejaculate and derive pleasure from stimulation in this region.

Long Time Coming
Scientists continue to redefine textbooks and hypotheses, trying to figure out the form and function of the female erogenous areas as accurately as possible. What they can agree on so far is that the female genitalia, like her arousal, is certainly more complex and diverse than previously thought.

Stimulation of this area in some women can cause the Skene’s glands to produce fluid, like its homologous male counterpart. In men, the prostate produces secretions, which mix with sperm to produce semen. In some women, the Skene’s glands may produce the fluid that is the source of female ejaculate. Although it comes out the urethra, the ejaculate is not urine. Biochemical analysis shows the presence of prostatic acid phosphatase and prostate specific antigen, further indicating the role of a prostate-like structure in women.”

We here at Zinlightened.com just want you to have fun and explore opportunities that may have been overlooked in the past.

Great Links on the G-Subject

The Clitoris – Very informational with Illustrations

About.com

How to Hit G-Spot

Instructional Video – Website is Spanish the video is in English. The section at 7:35 minutes into the video is the most beneficial

How-to Flirt (Male)

Secret Admirer, originally uploaded by Editor B.

Body Language Flirting

For some guys that have been out of the “game” for a while, flirting may not come natural to you anymore. Flirting is an important part of everyday life, yet it is an art form and requires practice. Use it or loose it, if you will…

Relationships between people (male-female, female-female, male-male, female-male-female), are all about making a connection. But, sometimes it is hard to make that initial connect out of fear of rejection or just plain inexperience. I doing a little research on the matter, I found a helpful website. They give you some initial helpful tips and also have more in-depth reading material available for purchase. Here’s a link and an excerpt:

Body Language flirting techniques are ancient and unconscious. If you are a man then knowing some body language secrets will get help you get the women you desire fast.

Women have repeatedly reported that a man’s looks are low on the list of desirable traits. The most important traits are that turn women on are :

Being Clean and Healthy (everyone needs to work on personal hygiene)
Appearing capable and resourceful (does NOT equal rich)
Being assertive as well as caring and gentle
Appearing confident around others
Appearing to have a Good Sense of Humor

The majority of these traits can be conveyed with body language flirting if you know how.

HOW TO START FLIRTING – The Basic Idea

When a women makes eye contact with you (for slightly longer than normal), give a little smile and a very slight head nod and maintain the eye contact. Your strong and pleasant eye contact held on her shows her 3 things instantly:

1. You’re clearly interested. She’ll really like that
2. You’e confident in yourself and not afraid of her. (You are an Alpha Male)
3. Your gentle smile shows that you are not threatening and you won’t hurt her.

Keep eye contact until she breaks it off first. Notice if she looks down when she disconnects from looking at your eyes (e.g. drops her gaze down to look at her hands or lap). This says ‘I am submissive (to you) and won’t resist if you come closer’

That is unconscious female body language flirting!

APPEAR TO BE AN ALPHA MALE

Your first job is to look like an Alpha Male: cool, calm and collected. Confident and comfortable with everything under control. You show this by your body language and your slow, deliberate, smooth movements.

Your next job is to scan the eyes of the women and watch for one who returns a look with longer than normal eye contact. Keep looking at her and let a very slight smile slowly grow on your face. Keep your chin up, chest out, shoulders back, gut sucked in and keep looking until she breaks eye contact. If she disconnects by looking down (not left or right), she will be waiting for you to approach and speak to her.

Don’t waste your time with women who break eye contact rapidly and looks away to the right or left (instead of down) they’re not interested.

THE APPROACH

The next step is to approach her. Simply walk over whilst maintaining your good body language. You’ll need to say something to her to close the physical and emotional space between you both. She wants you to approach her and she is waiting, so get moving! By the time you reach her, she will have decided to either receive you as a possible friend or reject you as a problem male – deciding solely on your body language.

Use your best body language and walk slowly and straight, with as little extraneous body movements as possible. Walk confidently and especially don’t throw your pelvis around like you are proud of it. Walk casually with shoulders and arms down and relaxed. Move as if all your body weight was held up by a rope connected to the top of your head. You don’t want to look heavy and weighted down with problems!

Your body language should say, “I am a live, healthy and strong male. I am confident of myself. I am interested in you. I won’t hurt you.” Think these words as you approach her and they will help produce the right body language. She knows it takes courage to approach her because at any moment she could reject and embarrass you. She will admire, appreciate and reward your courage and confidence to be brave and take a risk! You will be demonstrating your Alpha Maleness and she will like that!

As you walk toward her, don’t start looking at anyone else! Look continuously at her eyes. Imagine that there are only you two in the room and imagine that you are saying and meaning: “I like you and I am eager to talk with you. Thank you for inviting me to meet you.” As you approach her, give her a soft friendly smile that says, “I am happy to meet you.” (That should be easy because you really are happy to meet her!) Approach confidently and respect her personal space.

Go slowly and gently. She is watching you like a hawk to see if you are going to try to go where you are not invited. (which is what most men do – don’t be liek those losers!) Let her see that you only go as far as she invites you. Tip : don’t lean toward her. This is a subtle invasion of her space and she will notice it! Stand up straight. You are the alpha male here – that’s what she wants

THE OPENING LINE

Don’t use a cute pick up line. She knows that you want to talk to her so just say, “Hi, I’m xxxxxxxx. May I talk to you?” Almost certainlt she will say “yes”. She’s already responded in a positive way (!)

Be honest and say that you would like to get to know her and for her to get to know you. At this point, you both have great expectations for wonderful things to happen. Enjoy the moment and continue your exciting adventure.

WHAT TO SAY

Your talk should center around data gathering and finding common interests. What you are really interested in is if you two have a good chance of having fun together or even long term compatibility

When standing or sitting in front of her, be sure to face her straight on. Ie your face, chest and hips are facing her directly. This is called ‘mirroring’ and facilitates a feeling of trust and friendliness. Also if possible, get in a position (like sitting) so that your eyes are at an equal or slightly higher level than her.

Tip : Never touch her unless she invites you, such as for a handshake. Be very respectful of her space and time if you don’t want a quick brush off!

As well as body language, flirting is also about talking. Try to keep the chat humorous and lively and your attention focused on her. Keep your body language saying, “I am confident. I won’t hurt you. I am interested in you.”

CREATING A CONNECTION WITH HER

As you talk look out for these excellent positve body language flirting signs that she’s connecting with you :

1. If her eyes watch your mouth as you talk, then she is probably hungry for you and wondering about how good you will taste. (Unless she is deaf and doing lip reading!)
2. Her arms are not folded across her chest. Arms open means she is feeling safe with you and does not need to have her protective barrier up.
3. Her eye pupils are dilated (wide open). That could be her hormones kicking in already.
4. She gives you a lot of eye contact – the more eye contact, the better she likes you. Frequent eye blinks are a good sign, too. (An unblinking stare is bad news. She is either bored with you or on drugs. Maybe both!)
5. She is mirroring your body positions and moves.

TOUCHING

If she likes you she’ll give you very subtle signals to come closer – Don’t miss these!

At this point in the connection she wants you to come emotionally and physically closer so she is going to do a very important thing. Don’t miss it because it is very subtle:

She is going to touch you.

The touch will seem casual and ‘accidental’ rather than ’serious.’ It may be a touch on the arm as she laughs at something you said, or it may be a pat on the back as a symbolic gesture of ‘good job’ as you tell a story. In any case it is reall not accidental! Her body language is saying, “I feel safe with you. You can come closer.” And she will be looking and waiting for a reply to her daring body language flirting – so be prepared and give the right response!

Your body language response is to accept the touch and not move away as if you are afraid of her. Moving away or not replying with a touch (ignoring it) would indicate to her that she had gone too far into your space and you don’t want her that close. You don’t want to send her that message!

Your positive body language flirting response is to return the touch with an EQUAL touch. Your response must be precise and appear ever so casual. To increase the emotional connection with her you must reply in a very short time (within a few minutes) with an equally casual touch, never stronger than hers. Your return touch as gentle as hers assures her that you are not going to attack now that she has let down her defenses. Tip: Don’t get more physical than her. When you both do this right, your bodies will be carrying on a powerful conversation that says, “I like and trust you. I am willing to come closer.”

Take Your Own Provocative Photos

Trying to take a photo that captures or create and sensual, tasteful mode; then this is a great how-to for you. The internet is full of nasty in-your-face porn. If that is all that you see, it is though to get a frame of reference.

read more | digg story

The Art of the Sensual Massage

Untitled, originally uploaded by sectionz.

~ By ZinGirl, Contributing Author

The Art of Sensual Massage: an erotic art form that invites passion and love, the perfect fusion of how and where to touch both body and mind.

• Relax your partner and yourself…a fine bottle of wine, sensual music (tune into Zin’s chill radio link) a warm dip in the hot tub, a silk scarf blindfold.

• Have your partner lay face-down with a small pillow; an added soft scent on the pillow might be nice. A second pillow may also be used under the legs just above the feet.

• Select a quality massage oil. There are types that heat up or have subtle flavors. Try a Karma Sutra assortment, she may love you drenched in chocolate oil, and you may adore her in almond raspberry! Apply the oil to your hands, not directly on your partners skin.

• Start with the feet…and work your way up slowly. Feet can be sensitive, firm pressure will reduce tickling. Your massage strokes should be firm and towards the heart, soft on the return.

• Spend extra time on that sexy rear end. It’s not only great to look at in those sexy jeans but is also a very sensual area. Use your full hands and a good deal of pressure; personally, I love a soft spanking right about now!

• Learn where your partner carries tension and pay special attention to those areas. Shoulders and neck are common tension spots.

Ladies bonus tip: Position your sweet spot at the small of his/her back, take advantage of a light rub on his lower back bone, he/she will know that it is one moment of many.

• When you reach your partner’s head, whisper that you’re just getting started while you take a small neck nibble and turn them over, stay there awhile. The face is an extremely sensuous area, use a light fingertip massage and trace your partners sexy eyes, beautiful cheekbones, luscious lips and the neck, one of the most erogenous zones.

• Excellent time for more oil, and another glass of wine It’s now time to work your way back down, shoulders, forearms and hands, then her breasts/his chest. Work your way from the outside inward. Give special attention to the nipples, squeeze and hold them just tight enough, (similar erotica to the spanking earlier), only after you’ve spent plenty of time on the rest of the breasts.

• Keep going…Tummy, hips and all the way down the outside of the legs. Roll your hands in and come back up the inside…

This is your very own moment. I hope you are able to close your eyes and envision that your evening is just beginning. A sensual massage holds the promise of passion and erotica, yet holds back to emphasize the emotional over the physical. Sensual massage is communication without the use of words, but possible a whimper…..until this moment.

Sphere: Related Content

Look Zinlightened in Lingerie (or anything else for that matter)

From the HappyHer Blog Comes Five Tips For Looking Great in Lingerie

by Juice

I’m still working on what a woman can do to be the best lover for her partner. The men just aren’t letting their secrets out no matter how charmingly I say “please”. Maybe it’s more simple for them, such as show up smiling and they’re happy? Boy, that would solve a world of insecurities for us women.

In the meantime, here are some tips on looking great in your lingerie, whether you like corsets, babydolls, vinyl or leather!

1. Get yourself professionally sized. Go to a seamstress, or fine boutique and get yourself measured to be sure you are buying the right size for you. Also, remember with demi bras, go a cup size smaller to really pop those sister’s up! Knowing your size it going to make the difference between unsightly bulges and luscious enhancement.

2. Exfoliate, exfoliate, exfoliate! Having smooth silky skin is really the only accessory you need. Jewelry and heels are options, but silky skin is important. When you’re in a pinch, grab some honey and sugar from your pantry and mix them almost half and half. You want a thick paste. Wet your skin and then slather your honey/sugar mix on working in small circles. After you have rubbed every inch of yourself, let the shower get real steamy for a few minutes before you rinse off to allow the honey to seep in and moisturize your skin. You’ll be amazed at how soft and glowing your skin will look and feel!

3. Wear outfits that enhance your body shape. If you are pear shaped, wear babydolls that will flow over your curves without emphasizing them. If your legs are short, wear high cut thongs or french cut panties to give the illusion of longer legs. If you are stick straight with no curves, you’ll want something that flows and gives the illusion of a shape, and if you are voluptuous, you’ll want something a little more form fitting to show off your bodacious curves!

4. Keep up to date on your manicures and pedicures. Even if you never wear polish, make sure your nails are buffed out to a nice shine and that they are nicely trimmed. If your polish is chipping, take it off! That’s a personal pet peeve of mine, a little chipping is okay, but when you see more nail than you do polish, it’s really time to do something about that.

5. Body hair control! Shave, wax, pluck, or at the very least, trim! No one wants to see your pubes poking through the sides of your panties.

After you’ve addressed these five tips, whatever you put on is going to look great! Bra and panties do not have to match to look sexy, but try to keep them in the same fabric or color genre’ so they’ll compliment each other. Have fun and go outside your normal box when you shop for your lingerie next time! Better yet, ask your lover or best friend to pick some things out for you. You’ll be amazed at styles you never knew would look good on you until you try something that someone else picks out.

How to Be Sexy…

Sexy Librarian Costume – part deux, originally uploaded by Librarian Avenger.

Looking, feeling and being sexy is a full-time endeavour

and are key to becoming Zinlightened.You must employ all parts of your being. “Think Bold” over at Blogspot has some great tips on how to be sexy. With tips such as smile at everyone you meet, flirt, eat sexy food, check your wardrobe, lay off of surgary drinks, and more.

Send us your tips for maintaining “sexy.” I know that it is a full-time job.

~Zin

Keys to Zinlightenment – Simplify

Rocks, moss, pebbles… everything zen, originally uploaded by tiseb.

Whether you are wealthy or on a budget, simplification is key to Zenlightnement.

Our lives are filled with clutter. From five remote controls on the coffee table, to seemingly endless stacks of paperwork and bills on our desks — simplification is a continual process.

Clutter comes in many forms – useless or single task items, paperwork, news paper, old clothes, unfinished projects, toys, toys, toys and even noise. All of these things contribute to stress and not being able to focus.

Becoming Zinlightened means practicing simplification on a daily basis. Follow these steps to begin the process of simplification:

1. Remove existing clutter around you – trash, recycle or donate (don’t wait for a garage sale)
2. Receive bills electronically (this also protects your identity)
3. When purchasing new items, ask yourself if that item can perform the tasks of several items. If not, don’t buy it.
4. Don’t buy things on impulse. Make a note of what you want and then leave the store. Think about it. Will you use it? Will it make your life better? Return in two weeks if it is a “must have.”
5. Turn off noise around you. The always on TV as background noise.

These steps are simply a start. Feel free to add your thoughts on simplification.