Self-deprecation the Key to the Art of Seduction

Although it has long been known that making a woman laugh is the best way to seduce her, new research shows the most successful form of humour comes from one’s ability to poke fund at oneself, making men like actor Hugh Grant, 47, most sexually attractive to women.

Bringing attention to your flaws is a high-risk seduction strategy for men however and has the potential to backfire.

‘Dissing Oneself: The Sexual Attractiveness of Self-Deprecating Humour,’ will be published in next month’s Evolutionary Psychology.

During the two-year study, women students listened to tape recordings of men talking about themselves, and we asked to score the men on sexual attractiveness.

Lead researcher Gil Greengross, of the University of New Mexico in the US, said: “Many studies show that a sense of humour is sexually attractive to women but we’ve found that self-deprecating humour is the most attractive of all.

“People who used this humour were considered to be far more desirable as mates.”

He added a note of caution however, saying: “It is a risky form of humour because it can draw attention to one’s real faults, thereby diminishing the self-deprecator’s status in the eyes of others.

“Think about the secondary school child whom nobody liked, who makes fun of his shortcomings.

“His peers mocked him and he was considered more pathetic than he was previously.

“This is high-risk seduction. It is not for everyone.”

Self-deprecation is a very British trait, and problems can arise when the British attempt to do so with a foreign culture.

Americans however love the British sense of humour, with a prime example when Hugh Grant’s bumbling British bachelor character charms Andie MacDowell’s young sexy American.

In a memorable best man’s speech, he says: “This is only the second time I’ve been a best man. I hope I did OK that time.

“The couple in question are at least still talking to me. Unfortunately, they’re not actually talking to each other.

“The divorce came through a couple of months ago. But I’m assured it had absolutely nothing to do with me. Paula knew Piers had slept with her sister before I mentioned it in the speech.

“The fact that he’d slept with her mother came as a surprise but I think was incidental to the nightmare of recrimination and violence that became their two-day marriage.”

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Ladies – Take Care of Your Business

Sexy, originally uploaded by jcorrius.

There are several articles instructing men on how to be sexy, but you know it works both ways… and sometimes the ladies could use a reminder or two.

Another great post from the happyher.com blog

1. Take care of business. Do you want to be treated like a Cadillac or a Yugo? If you want to be treated like a Cadillac, then BE a Cadillac kind of woman or quit complaining if you aren’t treated that way. If you need to diet, diet. If you need a nice haircut, get one. Don’t go to bed in “His” ratty old t-shirt with a week of leg stubble and think you are going to get treated like a hot commodity. Being a great lover is about taking care of yourself so that you can offer your partner something worth wanting to take care of.
2. Get over the good girl syndrome. It’s boring and serves no purpose other than keeping you and everyone around you uptight and unfulfilled. Go for the gusto! Try a little bit of everything. Sex is NOT gross, or dirty and you won’t go to hell if you indulge in a little anal or BDSM, but you might find out you really like it! Still scared? It’s okay to start slow and ALWAYS talk to your partner first. If they want something you aren’t sure you’ll like, give it a try at least once unless it will cause serious body injury. Better yet, you take the initiative, take your man and DO IT. Get sweaty, get loud, make noises (Those vagina noises some of us find so embarassing are actually a big turn on for the guys, so let her rip!).
3. Keep the lights on. If your partner didn’t want to be with you, he wouldn’t be. Keeping your body hidden away because you don’t like it is ignorant, cruel, and downright shady. If you don’t like the lights, light enough candles where your partner can get his fill of visual excitement. Wear sexy lingerie and keep it on if you are so worried about what he might see. Lingerie is one of men’s biggest turn-ons being the visual creatures that they are, so maybe leave on the high heeled shoes too!
4. Let your man know what makes you happy. He is not a mind reader and shouldn’t be expected to just know what is going to make you happy. Be short, sweet, and direct with your man, they don’t get into details the way woman do, so don’t expect him to be able to follow a long dialogue about why you think you want what you want, just tell him what you want and leave it go.
5. Confidence! Having self-confidence is the single most sexy thing a woman can have. If you don’t have it, fake it til’ you make it. Don’t ever start pointing out all your faults to your man, why would you want to bring something to his attention that he may not even been aware of? You are woman, therefore you are beautiful regardless of what the fashion magazines try to tell you that you are supposed to look like. If you are reading this article trying to find out how to be a good lover, then chances are, there is at least one happy man in your present or future who will love you for exactly who and what you are. If he doesn’t, he wasn’t worth it to begin with and there will be someone else that will.

I hope these tips gives you some good food for thought. Being a great lover starts on the inside. Add some respect and appreciation in there for your partner as well and he will never get enough of you. Now, get out there and work it!

Have iPod, will Sport Wood

Naked Booth Babes at CeBIT!, originally uploaded by GISuser.com.

Every now and then you may catch me with my iPod headphones on and a silly “shit-eating” grin on my face and you may ask yourself, “What on earth is that fool listening too?” Well, we’re here to lead you to Zinlightenment and explore some sexy options.

The iPod is not only for oppressive, DRM laden, low-quality pop tunes, it’s also a great source of free information in the form of “radio-like” talk shows known as “Podcasts.” Many can be download from the music store. Creating just the right music play list gets to be a hassle after a while and sometimes you may want a naughty diversion.

The next time your bored with your selection of music, try some of the following podcasts and make people wonder what you’re listening too!

• Sex is Fun
• Swingercast
• Polyweekly

What’s your naughty podcast diversion?

The Perfect Kiss

A kiss to build a dream on, originally uploaded by Daniel E Bruce.

by Juice @ happyher.com

For as long as we know, lovers seal their union with a kiss. Kissing floods our bodies with an endorphin and dopamine rush and quite literally leave us feeling a little high. It lowers cortisol “stress” hormones and increases the pleasant oxytocin levels. Not to mention that it creates a closer intimate feeling between the people exchanging the kiss, which is a the most priceless high of all.

So, let’s talk about the art of the Passionate kiss. Here are some ideas to try next time you get ready to pucker up:

1. Always begin with a fresh clean mouth to offer a pleasant taste to your partner.

2. Look your partner deeply in the eyes and maybe touch their hair or face gently before you lean in to kiss to make sure you have their full attention.

3. Closing your eyes is optional. Most people will close their eyes when they kiss to better experience the sensations, but try it with your eyes open too so you can fully experience your partner.

4. Begin with a soft gentle kiss using just your lips.

5. Kiss their face, their eyes, their nose, their ears, before returning to their lips.

6. Trace the outline of their lips with your tongue.

7. Run your tongue around their teeth and circle their tongue with yours.

8. Pull their bottom lip or tongue into your mouth and suck gently.

9. Kiss them wetly and deeply and explore their mouth with your tongue.

10. End with another gentle kiss, or keep going while waves of passion begin to wash over you.

Experiment with different styles and ways of kissing and ask your partner to let you know what they enjoy the most and continue to indulge them in some of the sweetest kisses ever! You can also kiss and trade a piece of ice, frozen grape or some other tasty treat between the two of you for some added fun to your kissing adventures.

You May Be Sexy, But Are You Kinky?

Folks like tests for some reason. It seems to quantify what they think of themselves or would like others to think… it is in that spirit that we’d like to bring to your attention the Kink Test. For those that have already taken the Sexy Test, this one is a bit more thorough, if not just plain longer. Find out just how kinky you are.

Hotlanta Kink Test

World’s Sexiest Parties

I would be doing you a horrible disservice if I didn’t bring all thing sexy to your attention. Hence, this little nugget from http://www.concierge.com.

by Sarah Cristobal

There are lots of reasons why nightlife is more rewarding when you’re traveling: Nobody knows your name; everyone seems exotic; and you don’t have to show up to work in the morning. But if you’re traveling all the way to Europe or Hong Kong, you don’t want to waste your time sipping a watery local beer while watching badly dressed dorks shake their booties to foreign-language rap (yes, the rest of the world has a bridge-and-tunnel set too). Our international crib sheet will tell you where to go, what to wear, what to order at the bar, and what sexy people you’re likely to meet. All you need to pack is your mojo and your sexiest clothes. And aspirin for the morning after.

Women prefer men with stubble for love, sex and marriage

Stubble is the way to win a woman’s heart, a study has shown. Researchers found that women are more attracted to men with stubbly chins than those with clean-shaven faces or full beards

read more | digg story

Pole Dancing Dinner Party – Coming Soon to the Wii?

So, you’re having a little dinner party and want to provide a little after dinner entertainment to go with your spicy beenie weenies. You dig through the hall closet and search through the ole’ standards; Trivial Pursuit, Scrabble, Pictionary… They just don’t seem to be what you’re looking for. You need an edge to set your party off right and to differentiate yourself from the crowd of soccer-moms and mini-vans.

Your buddy has the iPod in hand and the music is right, maybe now is the time for a little Pants-Off Dance-Off! Your party won’t soon be forgotten. This kit even comes with a garter and “Dance Dollars.” And as an added benefit, there are less game pieces to keep track of…

In the words of a famous topless-club DJ… “Hell-Yeah!”

Rumor has it, that these are the folks shopping around the Wii Pole-Dancing Game.

Order the Peekaboo Pole Dancing Kit here today for your very own chrome-plated, extendable dance pole. Its unique design means there’s no drilling involved. The pieces simply slot together.

A spring loaded mechanism in the top section allows you to extend the pole up to a height of 8 foot 6 inches! (No screws or bolts needed.)

With your own dance pole the possibilities are endless!! You can boogie on down in the living room, spice things up in the bedroom or even liven up a friend’s party!!

Also included is an instructional dance move guide to get you started and a sexy dance garter with 100 dance dollars for when you get going!!

Kit includes:
- 3 piece chrome pole
- Instructional guide with dance moves
- Peekaboo Sexy Garter
- 100 Peekaboo Dance Dollars

IMPORTANT:
The Peekaboo Dance Pole is not a professional dance pole. It cannot support your full body weight and is to be used solely in conjunction with the dance moves recommended in the dance book.

The Peekaboo Dance Pole is not a child’s toy. Do not allow small children to climb the pole or use it as a play thing.

Everything You Thought About Sex Is Wrong

Ala , originally uploaded by SuicideGirls.

For years everything that you have seen, heard and been told about sex is wrong and has twisted your sense of reality. You have been taught not to talk about sex. It is shameful. You shouldn’t explore your body or desires. Well I am here to tell you that it has all been a load of crap, custom wrapped and delivered to you in many forms over the years.

We here at Zinlightened.com are here to help you break out of this sexual funk! We want you to embrace your body, ideas and desires. If you don’t know how to please yourself, how are you going to please someone else? You’ll just walk around, day-after-day, frustrated and ill-tempered.

• Stop holding back – Ladies, all to often you go unsatisfied out of fear that you’ll shock your partner or make them feel inadequate. Then you sit there at the end of another boring, de rigueur, missionary fuzz-bumping unsatisfied. If you like your hair pulled and fanny slapped by someone dressed as Mr. Rogers, you better let someone know or it’s not going to happen.
• Sex does get better with age – At some point in your life, you are going to stop being insecure about your body and start to venture out. Embrace it. Sex beats jogging any day. A good 30 min bout will burn about 85 calories and if you do it right, is better on the knees. If you want to live longer, “get busy.”
• Sex relives stress and lowers blood pressure – Stress creates all sorts of problems in the body.
  
• Sex reduces pain – Sexy release oxcytocin. Oh, so you have a headache tonight… to show you that I care let me help out out there a little bit. If you want to get rid of that headache, PMS, arthritis or backache, [as Eddie Murphy says] start f*cking Norton. Humana, Humana, Humana
• Sex helps you sleep better – No more sleeping pills, fewer pills are better for the body and bank account
• Sex makes you feel good about yourself - I’m hot, sexy and funny, and gosh darn it, people like me
  

As Sheryl Crows says, “If it make you happy, it can’t be that bad!” there are far too many uptight people in this world. Don’t be one of them. I feel like I’m on a George Carlin homage.

Are You Sexy? Take the Sexy Test

How do you really know if you’re sexy unless you have hard evidence to prove it! Take the Are You Sexy Quiz Today and Post Your Results in the Comments Area! So, far we have one at 99%. Sexy Indeed!!!